The Park

My heart breaks every time I am reminded of his once blooming affection. A piercing anguish lurks beneath this seemingly calm fascade. I was at fault, I remember. I refused his advances. I tried his patience. I gambled and lost.

I speak the truth. I could not truly love him with my entire being, at that time. It was unjust and unkind. His presence reminded me of another love. A failed love long buried. His dear friend, a lover I once had. My affection for this old love diminished but not forgotten. Forgive my cowardice, for I could not part with the precious memories of first love. He sensed my uncertainty and abandoned the attachment. He and I pretended to part as friends. He sought tenderness from another woman. And I walked a journey in solitude.

He will take his bride. She will bear his children. When this time comes, I will offer him an eternity of happiness.

I will not regret the past. I will be content; satisfied with a decision of yesteryear. I chose this pain. I will experience this pain. Someday, I will be free from the shackles of aching memories. A woman untarnished by yearnings of companionship and ideal love. I will smile. I will laugh. I will find my own joy, my own happiness.